


Sober

by LionessOnTheThrone (Purrfect)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love, One Shot, Twincest, Wine, beautiful golden fools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:49:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purrfect/pseuds/LionessOnTheThrone
Summary: Cersei is sober and she doesn’t know why. Seems somebody has been tampering with her wine.Cersei x JaimeCersei x Wine





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this is any good. Mostly humor/fluff with a bit of jaime comforting cersei.

Cersei was emptying her twenty-third goblet of wine for the night when Jaime strolled into her chambers. Without so much as a greeting, she started ranting to him.

"This wretched wine isn't getting me drunk at all! I think somebody may be tampering with my wine supply, possibly trying to poison me! If one of the servant...."

"Maybe you've just built up a tolerance from drinking so much. Besides, if someone were trying to poison you, with how much you've been drinking you would be dead already," he replied, interrupting her.

She shot him a dirty look before replying.

"No, I am sure someone has been tampering with it. Try some. They all taste the same. Furthermore, my merlot, my pinot noir, and even my chardonnay all look purple."

Jaime looked at the three remaining wine bottles. Indeed they did all look purple.

"Well, what color are they supposed to be?" he asked.

"Are you really this uncultured, brother?"

"Yes," he replied, unsure if that was a serious question.

Cersei sighed inwardly. She didn't have the patience for this.

"Only the merlot is supposed to be purple. The Chardonnay should be yellow-whitish, and the pinot noir red," she explained to him, a bit annoyed at his lack of important knowledge.

"Now try some," she insisted. "Tell me they don't all taste the same to you."

Humoring her, he took her goblet and slowly tried each one. However, unlike his siblings, Jaime had never cared much for alcohol and had no idea what any of them were supposed to taste like.

"Well, brother?"

"They all taste different to me," he replied.

She looked at him unsurely. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Perhaps your taste buds are off from all the stress."

"If you're sure then. The chicken I had last night was rather bland too. I was going to have the cook whipped, but if it's my taste buds that are off I will spare them," she replied, seeming to believe him.

"Why do you need to get drunk so bad anyway?" he then questioned her.

He'd been asking this often lately. Of course, he knew the reason, but he wanted her to talk to him. They hadn't really talked, not since Tommen's death.

"My babies are all dead and the whole realm hates me for what I did to the sept."

"Our babies, and we will have more. You are only forty-two and many women still fall pregnant at that age," he replied as he sat down next to her on the bed.

"Nothing can replace my children," she replied, a bit hurt at the suggestion.

"No, no of course not. I just meant, all is not lost. I'm still here and you are Queen now. With no king to tell you what to do either I might add," he said, putting his arm around her.

"That is true. I can do whatever I want now. We could even marry now," she replied, smiling slightly for the first time in what seemed like ages.

Jaime sighed to himself. That wasn't a good idea, no matter how much he wanted it. The people were already on the verge of revolting. If they married, then everyone would surely know the truth to the rumors that had at one time almost cost her eldest son his throne. Since he knew Cersei would rather die than give up her throne he knew that was not a course they could take.

"We'd best wait a while, you may need the false promise of marriage to lure in potential suitors for alliances, like that Greyjoy fellow," Jaime said with disgust.

"True, true. They say he has two different colored eyes and wears a patch over one because it's a demon eye," Cersei replied with both amusement and disgust.

"Disgusting," replied Jaime.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

"I drink because it helps me. Helps me forget everything," she blurted out, starting to cry.

Jaime kissed her then, kissed her tears away. He would make her forget. He would make her see she didn't need the wine.

Before long they were on the bed and he was making her forget everything bad that had ever happened. She was insatiable and they spent hours making love. She fell asleep in his arms as she always did these nights. Except for the nights where she preferred to drink herself to sleep, which was happening more and more these days. Jaime had never thought he could grow so jealous over a drink of all things, but Cersei was choosing her wine goblets over him more and more these days. That was why Jaime felt no guilt for spending half of the night before switching all the wine in the wine cellar out with grape juice.

Jaime knew he would have to head back there soon to switch some more similar looking juices out for the Chardonnay and Pinot Noir ones. Jaime sighed inwardly. This was likely to be an all-night endeavor. So he waited until he was sure Cersei was in a heavy sleep, then he headed to complete his task. With any luck, he could sneak back in before she awoke and they could have some more fun, with her being none the wiser.


End file.
